a beautiful day

I woke up this morning and walked out into the most beautiful day. The bright leaves on the elm outside my living room window lifting and lowering with the wind, the sky among them a cloudless, cartoon blue. The cars speeding by on the boulevard, the perpetual jogger on the sidewalk, a dog barking the next building over.

And I thought, how odd. A day like any other day. I remember the sky on 9-11, as I stumbled through Manhattan with my desperately purchased clutch of water, Power bars, and fruit. This same cartoon blue.

A day like any other day. Except today I wish I were hung over, or even heartbroken, some pain that would pass. Some temporary, individual reason for the swollen face and the tears that refuse to stop coming.

I know a few things, and many more pace around my tired brain like the runners who pass me on the boulevard daily. A blur of color and wind.

I know the country we woke up in today is the same country we woke up in yesterday. The ugly parts just got a bigger stage, a broader permission slip.

The danger is real and has always been there. It now has an invitation to the light in a new way. This makes it more dangerous and also easier to see. What is easier to see is easier to fight, and more deadly. We who have not been ready must get ready. Find the will. Get in it.  

We have more weapons than we know. It is time to take stock. White people need to dig deep into our pockets of privilege and use it, put our bodies on the line as we never have. Those of us who pass, who seem less queer or are not, do the same for those whose do not, are not, cannot, will not.

Not all of our weapons are physical. Healers and light workers, artists of all kinds, yogis, good witches, meditators, our magic is as needed as it’s ever been. Bring it.  

We have to remember, this is not about him, vile and poisonous as he is. And it’s not about her, no matter what we wanted her to be. It’s about us. How (not if) we come together. How we move past just having each other’s backs to have each other’s everythings.

Beloveds, the end of this world has already happened. How we live it out is up to us. Here we go. It’s a beautiful day.