I started this birthday by killing a handful of sugar ants circling a spot where there used to be food. Two days ago a crumb fell to the floor ignored and they found it and swarmed. Ever since they’ve been coming back hunting for more. So this is my birthday commitment, my 44: I will never again return to the echo, the ghost, the illusion of food where food is no more, but seek out new sources, new satisfactions, new fuel. So this is my wish for myself, and you: not to follow old outmoded paths to and out of suffering, but to seek, to find, to make new.